Monday, December 31, 2007

I don't really like rice, but some folks do.

In 2008, you all should do some work for the needy and exercise your brain at the same time. Head on over to and match some words to their synonyms. For each answer you get right will donate 20 grains of rice through the United Nations to help end world hunger. Because I am the eternal sceptic, I made sure this was a legit op before I wasted my limited free time bettering myself though testing my own vocabulary. Sure enough, confirms that is not a scam. The Urban Legend Reference page spoke to to explain where the money comes from to pay for the donated rice. As with all things on the gloriously free Internet, advertisers foot the bill for those grains. also is connected to, so check them both out. If you can't join the Peace Corps and move to Sierra Leon for 27 months, you can at least give a handful of rice to some needy folks in 2008 by remembering that despotic means the same thing as dictatorial.

The Alt-Family New Year

There is a pivotal point between youth and adulthood that comes long after all the other milestones. It comes after you have been through relationships and heartbreak, after you have finished school and lived in your first apartment. It slides in somewhere amidst all those huge changes when you finally realize that family is a malleable, expandable, shiftable concept. For the majority of your life your family consists of those blood related to you, sometimes related by marriage or adoption, mostly of those who you have been told to love and respect and spend holidays with (in the beginning when they are warm, safe and joyous, and later when they are awkward, tense, and blurry). At that crux, that pivotal point that is not immediately recognizable, you choose which people from your first (blood/marriage/adoption) family, and which people from outside that circle fit in that concept.

You get to pick. You get to sculpt and build and draw your own concept of family. Hitting that point in life changes everything.

So, here’s to family (both first and chosen) in the New Year.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wanted: Girl with Breasts

I totally support body modification (tattoos, piercings, etc), but I'm not always sure about the motivation. Some people really want horns, or leopard spots tattooed all over their bodies. I guess if you were really having a hard time getting close to a woman, you might want to try to recreate a woman-like creature you could go to bed with every night, you know, like by adding silicone implants to your already gaudy tattoo of a large breasted woman. That might be the answer. Besides, all that you really need from a woman are the jugs, right?

I have no further comment on this.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Monday Kitten Snack

I've had a postcard with this picture on it for years. His little lips slightly parted, the patches on his jacket, just spinnin' his tracks. It still cracks me up.

CNN Googles "Google"

Thanks CNN, for more mindblowing studies:

Study: More Americans Googling themselves.

Lets be honest, the first thing I did when I heard of The Google back in the late 1940's (I was in on the earliest prototypes) was enter my own name. I'm a human being. Isn't it Google's primary function to see what other people can learn about you on the internet and then to get angry about Big Brother infiltrating your privacy, and then to secretly rejoice when you look really successful to those who have Googled you? I get 35 hits when I Google my first and last name in quotations. I know you have done it too, how many hits do you get?

By the way, you get 1,500,000,000 hits when you google "Google".

Thursday, December 13, 2007

CNN Sucks.

I used to really like, but lately they have really been ticking me off. I try to keep the blog related to media and other external sources, rather than just me complaining, but still. This is ridiculous.

One of CNN's headlines today: "Jodie Foster publicly thanks lesbian lover"

Seriously. In what world is the phrase "lesbian lover" even remotely politically correct? For what reason is a national news agency reporting that an actress thanked her partner at an awards ceremony? Maybe CNN should report every time George Bush mentions god or Bono mentions poverty. Get over it.

Its a video of two newsish people discussing Jodie's personal life and how it relates to her career. The video is followed by a video about Britney Spears' unfit parenthood and inability to show up in court when she is required. Its all celebrity scandal, I guess.

UPDATE: Before I finished writing this blog CNN had changed the video headline to "Jodie Foster publicly thanks gay partner." Better, I guess, that her partner of 14 years isn't referred to on a news website as her" lesbian lover."

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Oh no! Our little boy might like girl things!

I read everything with a critical eye after a year of studying writing and reading (unrelated to one another). Writing about a subject means its an issue, and declaring something an issue translates that people might have strong opinions on it. This article on is one of those things that just drive me crazy. The article is about how is really is OK to let your son play with a toy kitchen. (Gasp! No Way!!) I can't believe an article needs to be written about this subject. When are we going to get over this dolls for girls and trucks for boys thing? Its just so irrational.

The title, "Toy kitchens for boys?" proposes that CNN is presenting some radical train of thought. How can this be radical?? The Rose Petal Cottage is just fine for little girls, because, obviously, they not only like to play in the kitchen, do laundry and decorate--but its natural!

The Story Highlights?
Toy kitchens for boys seen as OK
More men starring in TV cooking shows
More boys watch their fathers cooking dinner

A toy is a toy. Its not weird for a boy to play with a toy kitchen, and its not weird for a girl to hate the toy kitchen. Sigh.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Other Nervous People

Ordering Food in Beijing Makes Me Nervous (mmmm Chinese food...)
Iran Still Makes Me Nervous (well, yeah. thats a given.)
Jesus Makes Me Nervous (its a book!)
Fish Eyes Make Me Nervous (dont they make everyone nervous?)
Neckties Make Me Nervous (they're a band!)
White People Make Me Nervous (get a t-shirt!)

I just thought that was a good sampling... I'll update as I encounter more nervous folks out there.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Friday's Kitten Snack

Little Monroe has never been featured on the blog, so I thought this was her time to shine. Probably the greatest thing about living with LC is that she brought this little bugger to D.C. with her. She's just a little puppy in this pic, but she's still a really small cat. Here's to Monroe! (And to being done with my semester at school!) 

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Viva Dawn!

My sister finally completed her first Marathon in Las Vegas (after the nastiness of the Chicago Marathon) I'm proud of you pal!
(PS: If you really quit running feel free to pass on some of that expensive running gear you bought to your poor younger sister!)

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

The Legacy of Henry Hyde

In light of the death of former congressman Henry Hyde, a lot of his enemies have stepped forward to remind everyone of what a sexist jerk he was while he was alive.

A couple of good hits on Hyde include:

A piece about a woman tragically affected by the Hyde Amendment: Remembering Rosie: We Will Not Forget You
An article about the affair Hyde had although he strove to impeach Bill Clinton for his romp with Monica.
Some words from Gloria Feldt, president of Planned Parenthood.

And also points out this week some controversy about government funding. We all know that the government doesn't fund abortion. The reason for this is no one other that Mr. Henry Hyde who originally passed the Hyde Amendment without out an exceptions---not even rape or incest. That has since been amended, but we can thank Hyde for the sentiment. What DOES get funded are penis enlargement pumps for old buggers. Medicare spends about $450 per pump, per geezer who wants one. Check out this article for full details!

Man, I never even thought about asking for a penis-enlargement pump. I'm stilling hoping the government will pay for my cat insurance.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Monday's Miller Snack

I planned to reserve this space for only kittens, but this picture takes the cake this week. I received this image via email from my mom last night. Yeah, that little guy is her prized possession. He sure is a tasty Thanksgiving treat, right?

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Esquire, you Sexist Punk.

I have been reading Esquire for the last several months as part of a class assignment. Its just completely disgusting. It goes so far beyond "masculine" that it lands squarely on "sexist". Just the ideas put forth in this magazine, regardless of seriousness by the editorial staff, sicken me. But, to be honest, when this class is over I might still continue reading it just to get myself riled up—and because often the profiles are really stellar.

Here are just a few quotes from the December issue:

“The problem with the Dangerous Book For Boys is that it stopped before getting into the really risky stuff that gentlemen used to know. Things like how to live lavishly totally on credit, how to manage simultaneous affairs with a mother and a daughter, or how to get oneself proclaimed god-emperor of a Third World country.” –at least in their racism they capitalized “Third World” but they certainly didn’t soften the sexism of celebrating affairs with a mother and daughter…

In an article about skin cancer, the editor recommends a few steps a man should take after a bad sun burn: “see a dermatologist one a year, have someone – a lady, perhaps -- give you a head to toe exam, looking for any new moles or unexplained blemishes.”

In a section called “The Rules” the writer warns: “A man may use any euphemism for sex except 'making love' unless he’s referring to two animals having sex in which case, 'making love' is hilarious.”

Yeah. Just wanted to get those out there.