Friday, March 28, 2008

The Return of Sweet Valley High

I recently read about the return of the Sweet Valley High books and was caught in that small chasm between my sister and I--I remember the existence of SVH, and that they were hugely popular, but I dont think I was old enough to have really gotten into them. In the mid-eightys I was reading Choose Your Own Advenure Books (which now seem to be represented by a pretty cool website) and writing stories about outer space.

The problem with the return of SWH is the slight tweaks that have been made in the characters in the new editions. In the original series, twins Jessica and Elizabeth were described as being a "pefect size 6"--which, already was a pretty high standard for teen and pre-teen girls. Well now, according to a letter from the publisher printed here on, the twins are now described as being a "perfect size 4."

Great, lets get marketing a series to teenagers that only encourages low self-esteem and eating disorders. Way to ruin something great, Random House. It just really makes me sad.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Egg McDementia

Good Morning America and MSNBC both let me know this morning that "belly fat" (a revolting term unto itself) causes dementia, pretty much no matter what. So while I was mourning the loss of the inventor of the Egg McMuffin, Herb Peterson, news which made me both sad and hungry, I was secretly glad that I only had a Luna Bar for breakfast rather than a food item that might produce the dreaded, mind-deteriorating "belly fat". I know that my mind is really the only thing I've got, so I shall do my best to steer clear of dementia as long as I can (because its bound to come at some point).

PS: According to Wikipedia, the Egg McMuffin is the lowest calorie breakfast sandwhich on the McDonalds Menu. Thank you Herb Peterson for providing me with a lifetime of "low" calorie breakfast delights, made not only in your McDonald's kitchen, but in my mother's kitchen and my own; you shall be missed.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Will the Real John McCain Please Stand Up?

Clinton did an awesome job last night and I'm happy for her success (don't worry Obama, you are still my boy). And I'm glad that McCain finally knocked that weirdo Huckabee out of the race (because there ain't nothing closer to mixing church and state than putting a freaky Southern Baptist preacher in the highest office in the land).

The real issue here is that I'm concerned that something happened to McCain...doesn't this "McCain" look like photoshopped version of McCain and his woman?? Seriously. That can't be real. There's no way.

This image from just confirms the theory of Doubles that I learned from our local Capital Hill crazy homeless guy Peter who believes that all powerful people have look-alikes for security purposes. (Peter also believes that he sired one or both of Princess Diana's sons while she was living in Kalamazoo, MI and her double was acting in her place in England).

Or maybe its like that movie Dave where the president gets ill and they find some schmuck who looks like him to act as president so not to cause a national panic. Yeah, and then the real McCain is in a nursing home somewhere with the 80.9 year old Pope Benedict and these guys in the spotlight are just look-alikes. I hope a McCain look-alike doesn't win the election...but, well, I guess a look-alike would be better than the real McCain.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Caribou Vs. Starbux

I have long been a rather dedicated coffee drinker--since the days when St. Louis Bread Company (before it was swallowed by Panera Bread in 1994) offered an "all you can drink" cup of coffee than allowed me and my other 12 year old cronies to loiter in the Mall for hours on end. I took a job working at Caribou Coffee in high school and became a passionately devoted customer, although I hit up SBux more frequently out of convenience.

This boring exposition is simply meant to set up a new coffee drink I found today. I'm not sure when it was launched, but perhaps it just arrived in my 7-11. only gives the new drink 2.5 stars, which, I guess, is understandable. Its not incredibly delicious, or even unique--but it is made by Caribou, which makes me want to support it. There is a straight Coffee version, a Vanilla version and this slightly stronger Espresso version. I like it, and I feel more awake, which is the reason for purchase. Additionally, at my 7-Eleven it was $1.79 with tax AND only 100 calories and .5 grams of total fat in the can. (Comparable to Starbux Iced Coffee Can which has 100 cals, 1 g of fat in 11oz...and, if memory serves me correctly definitely runs more than 2 bux (hehe)). Either way, give it a try. If nothing else, you'll enjoy the sensation of the shiny 12oz. aluminum can between your fingers.

PS: I'll try to return with some more stimulating blog posts and cute kittens in the coming days. I'm a little fried right now.