Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Where Have all the Gingers Gone?

The first time I heard the word "Ginger" to describe a redhead I was still jet lagged from my flight to London, and had barely gotten over hearing a gal in my flat actually use the word "blimey". (Ahh, the joys of Study Abroad) One of my flatmates, Beth, had been dating "a ginger" and constantly referred to him as such. I never went back to the pedestrian American terminology for the glorious firey mutants, although I refrained from getting "pissed" at the bar, or borrowing "jumpers" from my "mates", Ginger it was.

I have always been a Gingerphile. Here are some notable Gingers:

Conan O'Brien, Jenny Lewis and Ron Howard.

I maybe almost dated an infamous ginger when I first moved to the District. Maybe.

But, believe it or not, National Geographic reports in this article that Gingers (redheads) will no longer exist within 100 years. The possibility of this frightens me to no end. A world without Gingers? Where is the diversity? Who will poor, homely, brunetted children deride on the playground?

In fact, the only part of this that is scarier than living in a world free of Gingers is this: What will happen to the poor child born red-headed in 2134? The article makes mention of the possibility of a freak Ginger reoccurrence:

"Some experts say that redheads could be gone as early as 2060,

but others say the gene can be dormant for generations before returning. "

The poor Ginger child is bound to get stoned by mobs of blonds and brunettes for her uniqueness! There will be news cameras and reporters everywhere like always when word gets out that there is a new Worlds Oldest Woman, or Tallest Man, or the Biggest Baby or whatever. The kid will live quite a celebrity life (if she survives the stoning). Sometimes red hair is the only reason some one ever gets famous. I think Ms. Lohan is a prime example of this occurrence.

Here we are at the crossroads of human evolution. Someday soon Gingers will only exist in memory, like the ozone. I'm glad I won't be around to see it. Whats the next trait to drift off into the history books? Maybe cankles. I hope so, cankles suck.

1 comment:

nick said...

eh. I'm not tooooooo worried. I mean, we will still have hair dye, right?

They can't take that away. OR CAN THEY?