Office Space Truths

The first time I saw "Office Space" I was in college and I thought it was hilarious. It didn't strike fear into me about what the working world might be like. It felt the same as watching Star Wars or The Lion King--things that happens to other people (or creatures) in a far off fantasy world with which I would never come in touch. Oh lord was I wrong.

The true vision of Office Space comes in when Peter Gibbons reminisces about high school--when the guidance counselor asks what you would do if you had a million dollars and you didn't have to work. The lesson was, Peter explains, that whatever if is you would do if money didn't matter is what you should be doing with your life. If you answered "I would play baseball all day," that's it. You should be a baseball player.

The Office Spaceness that I witness so frequently, even more so that the meditation on what I would do with my life if money didn't matter (Travel Write/Camp Counsel/ Teach), is some variation of the following discussion Peter has with the Bobs:

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Bob Slydell: Great.

Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.

Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

I mean, seriously. How many people do you hear talk about their jobs like this? Can we really expect to feel fulfilled when 40 hours (+) a week are spent like Peter Gibbons?

So what would you do if you had a million dollars? (and I'm thinking something a little different than Lawrence's response of "two chicks at the same time.")